Ahahaa OMG that would be AMAZING if that was a thing! :3 Thank you darling. Love you too. Hope you’re okay xx
Just did an update on today’s :) x
So today I met with my outpatient therapist, P, and my new consultant, C.
I’ve heard a lot of good things about C and after just one meeting I already wholehearted agree. I could tell he’d spent time getting to know my ‘story’ and talking with P and seemed to just ‘get it’ immediately so I didn’t have to go through that awkward questioning. He also seemed to be really non-judgemental, calm and logical. Also he has a really nice voice :P
He started by talking a bit about how people have to meed certain needs for their well-being - both physical and psychological. He said my problem was that in trying to fulfill some psychological needs, I end up neglecting or damaging my physical or other psychological needs. hey’d had a meeting (also with G, the doctor I worked with on my previous ip admission) and discussed about how best to ‘support’ me in getting a better balance between these ‘needs.’
Then something I was a little surprised at - he jumped in with,’ I think there’s currently an important decision to be made about whether you’ll be able to continue at university.’ My heart sank.
He went on to suggest we do a two month ‘trial’ period to see how I’m managing, with certain targets to meet, and if I don’t meet them I will have to drop out of uni. I was quite shocked that he seemed to be taking things really seriously… but I guess maybe I do need that motivation to keep me on track from the start? Idk.
During the two months I wont’ be having therapy as such but will be meeting every week with G to catch up and check my physical health etc (another surprise - didn’t think he’d be involved at all. He is amazing and honestly has been the only doctor who has helped me in recovery so far but it will be weird going back to see him again as an outpatient… idk, he can be pretty intense, has quite a different ‘style’ of therapy :S).
After the 2 months, irregardless of how they turn out, I will be offered 40 therapy sessions.
So the conditions are:
It does seem like a big ask - especially the self-harm. I’ll probably end up putting on loads of weight so that shouldn’t be an issue.But I think for me the diabetes control is the most important and what I really need to keep on top of. So I guess we’ll see how things go.
Thank you so much m’dear :) I guess I’m quite proud too xx
I did vote - I voted a while go actually because I was registered for a postal vote :) You may ask, but I think I’ll keep it to myself - I’ve seen too many people get attacked after sharing which way they voted xx
:/ sorry. I still had plenty calories for the day though x
I did :) I would only post an ‘intake’ if it was b/p free x
I know that in my heart of hearts I really want recovery. But my mind is so full of disordered thoughts and rules that I don’t see how I’ll ever be able to ‘unlearn’ them.
They creep in without me even noticing and before I know it I’m making plans to use destructive behaviours. TW