Eat. Live. Try.

Here is where I store my crazy thoughts while recovering from eating disorders, depression and self-harm. (Other posts may refernce my t1 diabetes, studies at medical school, cute cats and funny stuff I like :) Although I am DEFINITELY NOT pro-ed, I can't promise that things I post won't be triggering for some. I want to be honest and include the good times and bad.


things to start doing:

  1. drink more water
  2. carry a camera everywhere i go
  3. read more books than i already do
  4. go for walks
  5. do yoga more often
  6. go to bed earlier
  7. enjoy the little things
  8. go outside more
  9. stop comparing myself to others
  10. stick to my goals n stop putting things off
  11. write down my feelings
  12. smile more, especially at random people

(via pizza)

DISCLAIMER: Sorry I’m just using this space to vent because I’m anxious and angry and it’s not necessarily how my rational mind would be really thinking

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This is the Amazing Person Award! Once you are given this award you are supposed to paste it in the ask of eight different people, who, in your opinion, deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it’s sweet to know someone thinks you’re amazing inside and outside Sorry things are so difficult at the moment Fi :-( I hope they get better really soon. Until then I send many hugs and virtual cats. Xxxxx
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

Thank you so much Sarah <3 You are the bestest xxx

Asker Anonymous Asks:
who is your kiss me about ?
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

Erm… I’m not sure I can say :P But I guess it could be just fictional… sounds soppy and creepy but sometimes I just know I need someone and my heart is just aching for them.

Sometimes I wanna kiss you serious, movie-style
Sometimes I wanna kiss you sweetly, sunshine and strawberries
Sometimes I wanna kiss you cheeky, bite your lip
Sometimes I wanna kiss you sadly, bitter tears
Sometimes I wanna kiss you sleepily, rubbing noses
Sometimes I wanna kiss you comfortably, chocolate and marshmallows
Sometimes I wanna kiss you sexy, hint of tongue
Sometimes I wanna kiss you desperately, never let me go
Sometimes I wanna kiss you smiling, share my joy
But mostly
I wanna have you here
to kiss at all

Sitting in the meadows overhearing a guy explain his girlfriend’s social anxiety to his friend in such an amazing, sensitive way. He’s also now encouraging self-love as good and healthy and nothing to be ashamed of. What a great guy :3 Faith in humanity = restored.

have you ever just looked at someone and thought, my fucking god i adore you. i adore every goddamn ounce. i adore your bones and your soul. but I’m a loser, who just doesn’t wanna lose you. i can lose fucking everything, but not you. oh god. not you.

(via porridge-princess)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hey fi, when u say 'part' of u doesn't see the difference, what does the 'part' of u that does see the difference say???? :) x
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

In progress pictures people post there are always comments about the difference in the eyes, the skin,you can see the life inside the in the ‘well’ pictures. I guess looking at my pictures now I can see that a bit. My smile does look forced and I do look tired. I guess I’m kidding myself that I’m okay and there’s no difference because I’m still ‘functioning’ :/ xx

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Are you going to go back to uni if a bed doesn't come up at the ed unit in time? X
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

That’s the plan… but I guess it depends on whether I can manage to get my butt in gear and make sure I’m well enough to go. It’s my main motivation right now though. I HAVE to go back. I feel like without my degree as a focus and an identity… I am nothing. xx

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi, Fi. I thought I'd send you this message to hopefully clear up a wee something with you. I'm tumblr's "brendz43" and I've sent you comments/messages a couple of times now but have never seen them posted. I'm guessing it's because when you've checked my tumblr and there's nothing there, you're thinking that I'm a dodger!. I'm a 48 yr old woman from Aberdeen and have no need for a tumblr account but I like to follow young woman like yourself (sounds stalkerish!) who are living with an ED ..tbc.
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

Hello! :) I just replied to the second part of your message privately… let me know if you got it? xx

Work break to meet up with my mum and brothers to celebrate ny brother’s purchase if his own flat! Argh ita scary to think he actually owns property!
Mama brought cake and crisps and raspberries from our garden and CHAMPAGNE! I actually had a wee glass with my raspberries - only a little bit though cos I’m back at work soon! Can’t be tipsy on the job ;)

Can I hold you in my arms my love?

Can I kiss you where it hurts my love?

Can I pour myself into your broken spaces

until we are one and whole?

Can I show you how you shine my love?

How you light up my world my love?

Even when you’re there and I’m here

And there are lightyears between us

We are joined by hope and starlight

And the fire of our souls

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm so so sorry I messaged you with that message (the one saying you look like a cadaver). :( I feel like such a horrible person now. I'm just so worried about you ;'( x
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

Absolutely don’t feel horrible. It’s okay, I know you said it out of care. Please don’t worry xx

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm having to go in anonymous because I would feel horrendous saying this to you properly. You look awful. You look like a cadaver. You're eyes are dead and your smile is false. You look like you're about to drop dead. Wake up and smell the coffee because you going back to university the way you are is a HUGE mistake. You need to gain back what you lost, but primarily gain back your spark. You look so tired and sad. Please, take all the help, but first you have to help yourself. X
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

:( Thank you for being honest. You’re right. I need to snap out of this. I will get better, I will go back to uni in a better place x

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Fi.... The top photo is gorgeous and you look like, 20 or so. The last one? You look about 40 :/
live-and-heal live-and-heal Said:

:( I find it hard to see but I guess you’r right. I will get back there again x